It has taken me almost two months to overcome this grief over losing my dearest Lia.
This sadness has been accompanied by a sense of guilt for not having done enough for my young (3 year old) cat.
I have sat many a time wondering what I could’ve done differently for her to remain alive today.
I have sobbed hard many times during the first two weeks of October hoping and pleading with the Lord above to let me re-do the month of September…
You see, it was in September that I decided to purchase what I thought was a better type of food for my cats. Hard kibble for her, soft food for him (since he had developed crystals in his urine last year I’ve switched). I chose Blue Buffalo and ordered it. Even from the beginning I noticed something was off, she lost her desire to eat soon after running to the kitchen where their bowls were. I thought they were being picky. I know! It’s horrible!
Slowly over the next two weeks I saw a change. I noticed her paleness when I took pictures of her, one barely saw the pink nose or pink ears she was known for and the reason she got her name (Lia means rose I once read somewhere).
She not only began looking very pale, she was sleeping a lot more often. Pretty much all day. I was busy away from home to notice a lot of this because my daughter had left for college and I was having to deal with my own grief as an empty-nester plus my sister was taking radiation for which I offered to take her and spend time with her…
Looking back I see the clear signs that what I purchased was pure poison, and I should’ve gotten rid of the food IMMEDIATELY.
The third week of the month she was eating nothing and drinking so much water that I took her to the vet and they couldn’t figure out much more. A few meds including appetite enhancers seemed to work for a bit but the next week was more of the same. I grew desperate to see the old Lia return to normal.
Gone were the days when she greeted me at the door or played with her favorite toys. She did not come when you called her or shook the snacks baggies. Now she was beginning to climb on me and curl up (which I now know she may have been trying to communicate an inner fear and pain and perhaps was saying goodbye sadly) and hiding far from us under my dresser, which she never had done before and which I realized at the time was a sign she was in pain and was dying.
Several times I pleaded with her to eat. Bought her soft food, snacks, etc. but she wouldn’t even budge.
No one knows the pain I felt in my soul witnessing these things. The vet visits increased and no sonogram or x-ray could explain what was happening. As a last resort an exploratory surgery was done but there was zero improvement. In fact it got worse and she went into respiratory arrest two days later.
I told her I loved her many many times.
Here come the tears…
Telling my story about Lia won’t bring her back, I know that. But I want the world to know what a special little lady she was.
She loved people’s shoes and would park herself on them as if trying them on.
She loved to play with fluffy things and would toss them around like a kitten often times would do. She never lost that sweet kitten attitude.
She loved boxes and plopped herself inside the minute we opened them.
She was by my side each and every night. Often making my older boy cat scurry off. Which made us laugh. She was a tough cookie with him!
I will never forget you my little lady…
Rest in Peace, Lia