Dealing with the Death of My Kitty Cat

It has taken me almost two months to overcome this grief over losing my dearest Lia.

This sadness has been accompanied by a sense of guilt for not having done enough for my young (3 year old) cat.

I have sat many a time wondering what I could’ve done differently for her to remain alive today.

I have sobbed hard many times during the first two weeks of October hoping and pleading with the Lord above to let me re-do the month of September…

You see, it was in September that I decided to purchase what I thought was a better type of food for my cats. Hard kibble for her, soft food for him (since he had developed crystals in his urine last year I’ve switched). I chose Blue Buffalo and ordered it. Even from the beginning I noticed something was off, she lost her desire to eat soon after running to the kitchen where their bowls were. I thought they were being picky. I know! It’s horrible!

Slowly over the next two weeks I saw a change. I noticed her paleness when I took pictures of her, one barely saw the pink nose or pink ears she was known for and the reason she got her name (Lia means rose I once read somewhere).

She not only began looking very pale, she was sleeping a lot more often. Pretty much all day. I was busy away from home to notice a lot of this because my daughter had left for college and I was having to deal with my own grief as an empty-nester plus my sister was taking radiation for which I offered to take her and spend time with her…

Looking back I see the clear signs that what I purchased was pure poison, and I should’ve gotten rid of the food IMMEDIATELY.

The third week of the month she was eating nothing and drinking so much water that I took her to the vet and they couldn’t figure out much more. A few meds including appetite enhancers seemed to work for a bit but the next week was more of the same. I grew desperate to see the old Lia return to normal.

Gone were the days when she greeted me at the door or played with her favorite toys. She did not come when you called her or shook the snacks baggies. Now she was beginning to climb on me and curl up (which I now know she may have been trying to communicate an inner fear and pain and perhaps was saying goodbye sadly) and hiding far from us under my dresser, which she never had done before and which I realized at the time was a sign she was in pain and was dying.

Several times I pleaded with her to eat. Bought her soft food, snacks, etc. but she wouldn’t even budge.

No one knows the pain I felt in my soul witnessing these things. The vet visits increased and no sonogram or x-ray could explain what was happening. As a last resort an exploratory surgery was done but there was zero improvement. In fact it got worse and she went into respiratory arrest two days later.

I told her I loved her many many times.

Here come the tears…


Telling my story about Lia won’t bring her back, I know that. But I want the world to know what a special little lady she was.

She loved people’s shoes and would park herself on them as if trying them on.

She loved to play with fluffy things and would toss them around like a kitten often times would do. She never lost that sweet kitten attitude.

She loved boxes and plopped herself inside the minute we opened them.

She was by my side each and every night. Often making my older boy cat scurry off. Which made us laugh. She was a tough cookie with him!

I will never forget you my little lady…

Rest in Peace, Lia

Posted on November 27, 2018, in cat, cats, death, loss, love, mom, mothers, pain, sleeping, surgery, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. I have to say it is a very very sad story you have written here Kay. I am sorry for your loss but I know words don’t help much from experience. It is so frustrating that our cats cannot tell us what is wrong with them. It is a shame Lia was so young. May you eventually find peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Greg. Yea.. they can’t verbalize their thoughts or feelings but they sure give us a lot of clues I failed to pay attention to! Hence my frustration. I’ve finally put closure to it by getting it all out. I just hope and pray no one else’s pets suffer like she did. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I’ll share though that my boy kitty did have a few loud wails the first few days. Especially while I cried, and I wonder if perhaps he too felt the loss of his little companion. He never leaves my side anymore and I am truly grateful for that. Some way somehow they must know! Amazing isn’t it? No one can tell me they’re dumb and don’t feel. Lia and Pinty are proof they know and and have amazing hearts. Love these furry friends forever and ever!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. God, I’m so sorry, this made me cry so much. What happened wasn’t your fault, I hope in time you can see that. RIP beautiful little Lia, Love and hugs for Mom, Aoife/Eva and Chalky Choo Choo xox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Chalky n mom! Sorry it made you sad. I get that way too when I read others sad moments too so don’t feel bad. She’s in a much better place. Fully restored to health and perhaps causing a bit of trouble as she often did. My tiny little rascal. Only time will heal this pain in my heart… 😿 Big grateful hugs back.


  3. Damn cats! They are so hard to get over the loss. My sisters cat(she has 2) was Just buried tonight. He got himself into mischief up a tree. Used all his 9lives all at once. And it was his brother that was the walking vet bill. I will also never forget my Jamima who was my companion for 16 years. I feel you. 😢Cheers,H

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s super hard because we bond so well with these tiny little furry companions. Unlike humans they never talk back and listen to our incessant chatter Lol! I will never forget each an every pet we’ve owned. In reality they’ve owned us ha-ha. But I find it almost criminal that a company like Blue Buffalo could be careless to produce a harmful product without exercising proper care. You know how I found out it was the food? My boy would sniff it and run. RUN. And thus little guy eats everything. Even the smell from the bag seems toxic. Not sure what I can do. *Sigh*


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